Writing these "letters" has helped me to process life as a new mother, remain thankful, and come awake to the little moments that make this pretty challenging season simply wonderful.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Day 230...Raw

I have one more to write today.

One word.


The idea of rawness was highlighted to me tonight.  In the context of worship.
Raw means uncooked.  It's not cooked up.  Not prepped, prepared, maybe not even seasoned.
In its original form.  Spontaneous.

This is what the world is desiring to see.  Formalities and traditions are so prepared, prepped, cooked and packaged neatly, they have no real impact anymore.  People are hungry for more.

I am hungry for more.  Right now I'm just a mom, but a mom to YOU!  So I have to say, even as a mom, we can cook ourselves into a frenzy.  By this I mean, we worry and fret that all our "to dos" are done, and in the process, we leave behind the original, beautiful forms that are often pretty messy but hold the real juiciness of life.  Children, our children, are hungry for moms who will leave all of their preparedness long enough to look into their souls and be present long enough to ask them, "What do you  want to do today?"  "How are you feeling today?"  "What do you want to talk about?"  We have to be careful our carefully planned days, and neatly manicured lifestyles, and perfectly arranged wardrobes are not at the expense of the raw reality: that life sometimes has to get unorganized, out of order, and spontaneous in order for God to step in with what He is speaking and doing in the moment.  What He wants to say to us.  What He wants to do through us.  This is raw.  This is real.

Lord, help me to be awake to the stuff that matters for eternity.  Help me stop and rest long enough to hear You speaking to me about my day, about my kids, about what fills our calendar, and all the rest.

Let me become the original form of Christy: the mom, the wife, you intended me to be.  And when I get off track or become caught up with the recipes that are not on your menu, let me again turn to You for the good stuff.  God in the raw.  God in the everyday grind of life.  Let Your ways infuse my days, Lord.

Forgive me, Sadie, for when I fall.  I am learning just like you.

Dear Sadie.

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