Writing these "letters" has helped me to process life as a new mother, remain thankful, and come awake to the little moments that make this pretty challenging season simply wonderful.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Day 240...My Daddy's Eyes

I was just thinking today how incredible it would be to always be looking through my God's eyes...having His lenses on all of the time.  This way, whatever I am looking at, I will seeing what He sees.

I would see the beauty of Creation and be in awe.

I would see circumstances as opportunities for breakthrough encounters with heaven.

I would see people as lost, and found, and know how to mix wisdom and compassion with each.

I would not be shaken or moved  by the impossible or the nauseating, because what I would see would divide foolishness from wisdom, temporary from eternal, beautiful from ugly.

Last night going up the stairs, you had just said good-night to Daddy, and you said to me so sweetly as we were climbing our way to beds...

"I have Daddy's eyes."

"Oh, yeah?  What made you think of that."

And you said, "I'm just sayin' it."

Like a child does, you say things outwardly that you are feeling on the inside.
At that moment, you felt so much pride to share eyes with your Daddy.
You looked into his eyes while saying good-night, and you saw love.  You probably saw his beautiful eyes, too, and remembered what someone said about you one time, that you do indeed have Daddy's eyes.  His big, beautiful eyes.

In the same way, let us be enamored and proud of our Daddy's eyes.  And let us, as we gaze upon His beauty, see life through His lenses.

One day we will see fully, Corinthians tells us.  For now, we only see but a dim vision of how things will be one day.  Still I pray that we spend enough time gazing on Him, and looking to His Word, that we can't help but look at things with wisdom, strength, and understanding. Even more, that others could look into our eyes and see the Father.  What beauty that would be!

Every day.  To see the world as You see it, Father.

Dear Sadie.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Day 239...birdies

Well it's been a long while once again, but not because of you my dear. It is all me for sure. I have felt dried up inside. This happens to me a lot during the holiday season. Every year I try harder to keep my Focus, and yet it never fails. I'm busy, distracted, having too much fun, having not enough fun, and the list goes on. There's always this tension I feel around Christmas. I really go into the season thinking I can be better this year about where my hope will lie, how to maintain my peace, where I will cut back and simplify, and how we will spend our time. But like a monster it sneaks up on you and next thing you know the whole thing is over and the monster ran away with all the treasured moments you were supposed to feel, and all those glowing memories you were supposed to make, vanished into this air. And you're taking down the tree thinking, when did I even sit and soak in the beauty of our hopelessly leaning tree these past two weeks? It's hard not to be sad. Or glad, that it is over and you can go back to normal. The tension is in the trying to fit our traditions and make them fit nicely into Jesus, and the truth is, they don't, usually. We need to be honest and just say it. Some things we do have nothing to do with Him. I think He understands. And there is grace and freedom. We don't have to be "spiritual" in everything we do. The beauty is in the honesty. In the moments when I tell Jesus I have neglected Him for the lesser things, and He says back to me, "I know," with forgiveness and wonder in His eyes that beckon for me to come and sit at His feet once again. And He starts to tell me stories of what He has been up to. What He has already done. He shows me the birds chasing each other outside my window, looking for morsels, building big beautiful nests, singing songs. He whispers to me, "I made those just for fun." And I kind of think how silly I am to take myself so seriously as I do so often. Could I just be a bird one day, and have the trust that they do? Couldn't I just labor and rest, aware that My Maker, in all of his glory, has done and is doing such amazing, awesome things, and that all I need to do is accept His invitations?
To be a bird. Only, I am His special creation, designed to do what only humans can do. I just have to have more if Him daily and to set my eyes on things above. I need only more of Him, and less of me.
Well thank you. Thank you for letting me pour out my heart. I hope I have learned something!