Day 131...bedtime marathon

the computer is burning my legs as i lay here and figure out what to write.  the only thing that keeps running through my head is, "geez, that bedtime 'routine' was the farthest from a routine as it could ever be."  that was a going-to-bed-marathon.  were you kids going for some kind of record?  even with routines set in place, things happen, strange things, and you're left going...that took 2 hrs??  now i'm needing to just unwind.  i'm sorry i don't have more to write!

Day 130...seeds

today i was pondering with a good friend of mine the unseen life of the mother of young children at home.

i now think of a mother being much like a farmer.  a farmer?  what?  yes, a farmer.

one who plants seeds.  there is not much reward in the day to day labor.  but by planting those seeds, there is sure to reap a harvest in the future.

so it is with mothering.  i don't get a whole lot of reward day-to-day.  i don't get a paycheck.  i don't get any public recognition or accolades.  i don't even get a "weekend" to look forward to.  BUT...

the seeds i plant every day will reap good fruit if i'm sowing into my children with the goodness God provides.  sowing wisdom.  love.  peace.  righteousness.  what a privilege.

so i'll strap on my boots and hat tomorrow morning.  get breakfast for you kids.  dress you.  drive you to vacation bible school.  take Titus to storytime at the library.

some of things will be remembered by you, some forgotten.  but I know a God who sees.  and only He knows how the seed and the growing thing really works.  and that's the beauty of it all.

Day 129...now i lay me down to sleep

as i lied in bed with you, saying prayers, i realized i couldn't remember the last time i prayed with you at night.  that is absolutely crazy!  of all the routines we require, that at least should rank at the top!  i guess that reflects where i've been in my own prayer life, and i want change.  it felt so good to talk to Jesus with you. i couldn't help but wonder what was going through your mind as i lifted up friends and family and talked to Him like the close friend that He is. it reminded me that i'm not just to talk to my children about God, i'm to talk to God with my children.  no sense in moping about it.  all is forgiven.  i hope today will be the turning point.

Dear Sadie.

"if anyone is a worshiper of God and does His will, God listens to him."  John 9:31

Day 128...forever!

today at our sunday gathering we were singing,

"holy, holy, holy
is the Lord God Almighty
Who was, and is, and is to come"

in one of my favorite worship songs.

as i sang and worshiped, my spirit said, "i could sing this song forever....i really could!"

could i actually?  probably not.  but my heart said, "yes! yes! yes!" when i asked myself, could I?


some people are afraid of too much emotion when it comes to praising Jesus.  i say, What?  Are you crazy?!


if it weren't for passion, Jesus couldn't have died for us!  He is all about the heart.
emotions come naturally when we fix our eyes on the Lord.

how great is HE.  how awesome and merciful is HE.  how compassionate and faithful is HE.  how generous and gracious is HE.  oh how I love HIM!!  my heart is overwhelmed.  there is so much power and peace felt in HIS presence. HE is just so GOOD.

GOD is real.  HE is with us.  and HE longs to connect face to face with us.  our hearts poured out to Him....for He poured it all out for us first.

"with all creation i sing,
praise to the King of Kings,
You are my everything
and i will adore you..."

i wanted to sit and dwell on HIM with ALL OF MY HEART today!


but alas i will...someday in heaven.  it will all be so complete, all of us lacking nothing.  we will have all of the time in the world.

Dear Sadie.

"that my heart may sing to You and not be silent.  O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever." PSalm 30:12

Day 127...Super Sadie!

i feel like i may have written about this before, but 127 days into this thing now, it's too many to go back and review.  so i'll run the risk of repeating myself because of the cuteness.

today you reminded me that you want to be a "superhero" when you grow up.  i thought only boys wanted that? :)

you told me all about how you want to save people.  i think you even said you wanted to save Jesus from dying on the cross.  cute, but i didn't go there with you.  you'll find out when you have a better grasp on chronology.  but you were very clear that you wanted to save lives.

well guess what.  you're on the right track!  Jesus started it, and we're to finish.  He started it by making the ultimate superhero sacrifice.  He is definitely my hero.  and you will be someone's hero someday when you lead them to Jesus.  we are hand-crafted for the family business and are to carry on the torch of building the kingdom.  pretty cool, huh?

get your cape ready Super Sadie!

Dear Sadie.

"you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you; and you will be my witnesses..."Acts 1:8

Day 126...rough days

i'm getting to the point now where i can admit i cried about something, anything, and i don't care who knows it. and i don't want to make it sound like i cry all the time.  the truth is, i don't.  i tear up a lot when i get emotional. but i don't often break down like i did this morning.  i was so sad my husband had to go in to work on his day off when he worked such a long week already, and i was already missing him, and dreading being a single mom yet another day.  blah, blah, blah.  cry, cry, cry.  the part that surprises me about all of it now is...i don't care who knows it.  i'm willing to admit that i'm needy, and tired, and at times overwhelmed, because deep down, i am satisfied.  i don't care how miserable a day becomes.  as adorable as my kids are, things can get rough when the pressure is on to get this, do this, be here, go there, all within my four walls.  and i only have two kids!  (well, with one extra for babysitting, that kind of counts in a way)  so i admit it.  it's hard.  i want you to know going into it that being a mom will undoubtedly be the hardest, most challenging, life-altering thing you will ever do (unless maybe you go to war or something!)...and yet, it's the greatest work of all.

Dear Sadie.

Day 125...entertainment

someone sparked my imagination today on the word "entertainment."  so much of our lives are drawn into this arena, and i think at times, yes, it is a form of distraction.  a way of escape.  but when i think about what is so alluring to us about books and movies and theater and events, etc, i am reminded of our need for the bigger picture.  written on our hearts is the grandest story of which we are all a part.  all of life, yes, especially in the story telling industry, there are minor stories that paint for us pieces of the puzzle that build to one large-scale mural, telling who we are, and from where we've come.  i think it explains a lot why we are moved to tears so often, or become gripped by a thrilling tale, or drawn to a fantasy.  we are made for so much more than the mundane order of life.  and that cannot be down-played as mere entertainment.  to me, often-times, it can and should be labeled as awakenings.

be careful and cautious, yes.  but let your heart be moved to a greater understanding of the spirit of man, and the Spirit that woos our hearts to be a part of His great story.  we all have a part to play.

Dear Sadie.