off to walmart we went. this was our fun for the evening. getting out of the house so we could breathe and see "the world" for a bit. let's see what fun we can buy with a dollar bill. a dollar bill your "daa" slipped you when I wasn't looking. *smile*
for the hundredth time, i felt an alien walking through the sliding doors. everywhere i looked, people were on a mission to grab and buy what they came in for. batteries. lipstick. paint. a towel rack. roller blades. hallmark cards. bread. what were we there? to see what dollar item would put the biggest smile on your face.
at first i thought you were going to pick the bouncy balls that made you and Titus light up like Christmas trees. they were so big you couldn't even wrap your tiny arms around them. but soon, as i predicted, you went on to other things. after about 20 minutes of oohs and ahhs and "no, let's find something smaller," your eyes landed on something you just had to have..."i've always wanted a jump-rope!" just like your playgroup friends, you exclaimed. i couldn't believe it. it was actually 97 cents, too. miraculous. pure joy and energy surged your entire being, and we frolicked to the check-out. you slapped your jump-rope onto the counter, along with crumpled up dollar bill. the lady checking you out couldn't help but grin ear to ear, handling the transaction with sweetness and finesse. i added 3 cents from my purse, and we were happily on our way.
never before had i believed that such minimalist times would bring me to realize how frivolous i used to be. how the things i thought i had to have were really just an illusion, there to make my life frazzled and urgent and wanting. i hope to get out of this mess soon, yes. but i couldn't be more grateful for it at the same time. it's just what i needed to make me truly thankful and see clearly about the things we need and the desires we have and the balance of the two. what makes me even more grateful is, while i wish i could spoil you kids a little more than we are able, i am so glad you've heard no so many times, you're content with asking and moving on without a temper tantrum, without making me feel horrible. it's as though at three you are aware that we may not get everything we want, but that doesn't make us less happy. it's a beautiful thing.
Dear Sadie.
No comments:
Post a Comment