Trying to put you guys to bed when I, myself, was tired was an absolute nightmare today. It was nap time and I could barely keep my eyes open. You, on the other hand, were having the opposite problem. Titus was being wild. Now that you are sharing a room, you have a bit of trouble relaxing when he is thrashing about, giggling, and getting in and out of bed. Deciding I'd deal with him in a moment, I went to you and tried to calm you down. "I can't sleep! It's too hard! My eyes won't stay closed!" I laughed inside. Gently I corrected you, for I knew how tired you were, even more than you could realize. "Just relax, Baby," I said. "I know you can do it." Still in the protesting mode, you took a minute, but under my calm but confident instruction, you succumbed to the tiredness, and after just a couple of minutes of caressing your long blonde hair down your back, you were gone.
I was reminded tonight just how easy it is to be like this with God. In my stubbornness I say, "I can't do this, it's too hard!" And all the while its my own will fighting and me becoming distracted by all of the commotion around me. Yet all He is wanting me to do is close my eyes and trust His voice telling me, "You can. Just rest in Me. I am right here with you." And with the comfort of knowing He is with me, and the peace that passes understanding, I "fall asleep." In this sense, by sleep I mean really letting go of needing to control things, and let go of the need to see how everything is going to work itself out. Closing your eyes can be scary, just like trusting is frightening. You don't know what's ahead. You are trusting your Tour Guide. But then when you do, you can take a deep breath and enjoy. Because He really is a good Father and has a perfect plan for you if You'll surrender to Him.
Dear Sadie
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