Waking up from a nap, not quite ready to leap from the bed, you called out to me, "Mommy!!!"
I rushed upstairs and scooped you up as fast as I could, mostly so as not to disturb your sleeping brother in the adjacent room, but also because I knew of your need for me in that moment. You just wanted to be held,.
I brought you downstairs and held you close in my arms. Your body still warm from slumber.
I pressed your pillow-soft cheeks up against mine and rubbed your back.
I could feel your whole body melt like wax and relax as I held you close.
I was thinking today about an experience with God, the kind where afterwards you felt like you could actually say you "touched God." I've had those type of experiences in His Presence before, where the feeling is undeniably of God, one so good it is difficult even to convey to another soul. I hunger for God's touch, His Presence felt. Do I always feel Him close? No. Do I need to always be in that place? No. Just as you don't need to feel my embrace every second of the day. But today as I held you close, I was reminded of the spiritual need we have to feel the Father just as close. He created s this way. Just as you and I experience one another so intimately, so God has created within us the need, desire and privilege to feel Him near. He longs to be near to His children. Jesus' blood washed us clean and He tore the veil so that we could come close to the inner room where the Father is. What a price He paid for such fellowship. And as if that was not enough, He sent the Holy Spirit to live inside our very beings. He is my Comforter.
What joy!
The next time I feel your breath in my face and your tiny palm stroking my arm, I will not just think to myself "Oh, she's going to get older and not need me anymore, I better enjoy this now!" No, I will be reminded of the nearness of God, and His goodness towards me for making Himself so available, so practical, so comfortable, so friendly, and so real.
If you ever doubt His Presence with You, draw close. Seek His Face evermore (Ps.105:4), and you shall never doubt again.
Do we always need to feel His touch? No. But if all we ever do is learn about Him and talk about Him and tell others about Him without ever having any experiences with Him on our own, then we don't even really know Him for ourselves. So go after Him with all your heart, and you will find the Lover of your soul.
Dear Sadie.
Come near to God, and He will come near to you. James 4:8
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