So I didn't know that 4 years old would be such a tough decision-making year for me. I've been looking forward to releasing you to a teacher, for your education to begin, the big "preschool" year to begin. Knowing how much you love school, love classmates, love learning. It's a no-brainer!
Now I'm dreading this day!! I don't want to be away from you. It's harder than ever I thought it'd be. And I'm beginning to question everything! I'm a trained teacher, so I know what it's like to be a part of the classroom "family." I want you to have the same experience! Then, I want you to be home with me at the same time! To the right of me I hear the homeschooling moms saying, "This is the way, walk in it." To the left of me I hear the working moms saying, "There's nothing wrong with going back to work. Let someone else teach your child. It's okay!"
I just need the wisdom of God. And it's not just me, it's your daddy too. We both want what's going to be best for you. I guess it's good that I'm struggling so much because it's about your well-being, and it's because I care about you so much. You should feel good!
Today you ran up to me, in the middle of me pouring my thoughts out to Nana on the phone,
"You're going to be my teacher! I'm not going to school! You're my teacher!" with this big grin on your face. It made me laugh in shock! You were clear on the other end of the house, and you ran over to me just to tell me that, and ran back to what you were doing. Was that prophetic?! :)
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