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365Expressions

Writing these "letters" has helped me to process life as a new mother, remain thankful, and come awake to the little moments that make this pretty challenging season simply wonderful.

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Day 55...I'm Liking You


Dear Sadie,
After coming inside from the heat of the day, you started on some Berenstein Bear Books as I wrote in my journal.  Then you came over and asked me to read one to you and I said sure I will.  After reading, you asked me if you could then read one to me.  Definitely!  You sat by my chair on the fireplace and “read” to me, with expression just like that of an adult reading to a child.  You are so precious.  I started getting sleepy and could hardly keep my eyes open.  I guess you noticed because it was then that you stopped and said, “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” (Where did you even learn that one!?) To which I replied, “What?” with a grin.  “We should go over there on the chair (couch) and cuddle.”  My heart melted.  So we went over to the couch and got all cozy with a blanket and pillow and lied there for a minute or two holding each other.  Usually when you’re feeling sleepy and not wanting to give in to a nap, you fidget a lot and change positions.  So I thought that’s what you were doing.  I was simply enjoying the rest.  But then you said, as you sat up next to me, softly and affectionately, “I just want to look at you.  I’m likin’ you.  I love you so much.” 
Ahh!  We tell you all the time you are a sweet girl, because you are.  But sometimes, you still amaze me with your kindheartedness.  I am confident it is the love of God loving me through you.  You wanted to look at me, even just with my eyes closed, lazily lying on the couch.  It pleased you just to be near me, and you wanted to take it all in with those precious blue eyes.  
It reminded me of a lesson God is teaching me about looking on Him, gazing upon Him long enough to behold Him.  We look at the Lord in many different ways.  For me, when I am gleaning from His Word, His creation, in worship, in quietness, in listening, and in directing all of my attention towards God for stretches of time, I am beholding Him.  It’s as if I am saying to Him in those moments, I want to stay here forever.  And I don’t just love You, God.  I like You!  Let me look at You!  That reminds me of when Moses asked to see God.  And God let Him, because of His love for Moses, and knowing Moses’ affection for Him, hide in the cleft of the rock as the Lord passed by.   
We often pray, “Open the eyes of my heart” to the Lord.  What we ar asking is to see Him with all of our heart, in all of His glory.  Face to face.  They say “seeing is believing.”  This is true with our heart eyes!  Gazing upon the Lord will increase Your faith, because you will know Him more intimately, not in your head like you learn math facts or historical knowledge, but with your spirit.  You will know and believe Him and walk in His love and so have faith to move mountains.  When you set your physical eyes on something, they say you are “feasting your eyes” on it.  So it is with the eyes of your heart.  You are feasting on something so tasty, so scrumptious, so sweet, that you just want to consume the thing.  That’s worship!  We are consumers of that which we esteem.  My heart’s desire is to be full of God.  To be so full of love for Him that it wants to explode out of me. 
Thank you for wanting to set your eyes on me, dear.  I pray that same love and devotion and fondness will be multiplied for your Heavenly Father and Lord who loves you beyond your wildest dreams.  He is enough to satisfy your every real desire.

Love,
Mommy

“One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the day so of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek Him in His temple.” Psalm 27:4

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